Under a mountain of sadness

A missed return home.

A wife’s worry.

A phone call.

An empty truck.

Dark, cold rain.

Hours on the road.


A son.


Not finding.



Searching again.


Without life.


Grief beyond measure.

They are only words and they are few at that.  It may not make sense to you but it’s my minds best way to process.  Process that which I cannot understand or fathom or explain.

A mountain of sadness and loss.

He read my blog every day.

Sometimes he told me it made him laugh.

That made me smile.

He gave life to the man who holds my heart.

He raised a boy whose name became mine.

“I guess we’re all one phone call from our knees” (Mat Kearney)

I guess we are.

In that instant I screamed.


Not happening.

Knees hit the floor.


It is real.

He is gone.



I am so so sorry. Nothing makes this pain go away. Our thoughts are with you all


my heart is so, so sad. My mom called yesterday and told me and i just welled up with tears. I am so very sorry for your loss. Will be praying a lot for you all throughout these days…


Much love and prayers.


We are praying for you… please let us know if you need anything.


Ohh…it is all still so unreal. Love to you all.


Karissa, those are heartbreaking words. I love you so very much.

When the holidays hurt « Table for Six

[…] other in-laws for still another gathering.  And nothing in the world could have prepared us for what would happen just a few weeks after Christmas.  I simply expected that the next Christmas would be the same or […]

[…] just a few years ago only 4 weeks after Christmas, Chris’ dad died on a hunting trip.  Our whole-family-Christmas photos were fresh from the photography studio and I was sure we had […]