After reading (and enjoying) MckMama’s “Not Me Monday” every week, I decided to throw in my own list this week. Her tag line is “Being brutally honest and living to tell about it”. Here are the many things I so did not do this week.

I did not…

Have to explain to my 5 year old the difference between pajamas and nice pajamas when she noted that I had gotten dressed in new clothes one morning, but was alas still in pajamas. Not me, I get dressed for real every single day.

Go so long without washing my hair that I thought I had lice and obsessively combed through every strand…but actually just had really dirty hair. That is disgusting, I definitely did not do that.

Bath our children, put them in jammies and then feed them (frozen pizza) dinner by 5 pm because they were falling apart to the extreme.

Want to mark the day off on my calendar as ‘done’ by lunchtime 3 days ago. The day was that good.

Go to sleep every day without even washing my face, even days with makeup. I know how bad that is for my complexion.

Get poop (not my own) on my jeans three days out of the last five, certainly not me.

Spend the evenings with an ice pack taped onto to my sore wrist. Not me, I’m not in incredible pain every single day…maybe denial is the key to my relief?

Make cupcakes out of the boxed mix AND use the canned frosting, yuck-no way!

Eat three of said cupcakes in 5 minutes.

Let my kids play chubby bunny with enormous grapes at the dinner table, of course not, they have perfect table manners.

Drive around for an hour wasting gas trying to pass the morning after being up most of the night with various children (and no husband home to help).

Avert my car-missing one headlight-from 3 police cars last night in the prideful hopes of continuing my lifelong streak of never being pulled over by a cop.

Forget to take a single picture of Rylee’s last day of soccer because I was busy calming tired and exasperated other children.

Eat a McDonald’s McGriddle sandwich on the hour long, gas wasting trip mentioned about. No way, those 600 calorie monsters are nasty, I would never eat one.

Below is evidence of me not letting the kids play ‘stuff as many grapes in your mouth and see who can utter a coherant sentence’ along with Kyler showing me his pizza (note his pj’s) and as soon as I snapped the pic, his plate tipped and he lost his meal to the not-so-clean kitchen floor.

That’s about it, I feel much better now-happy Monday!