Confession is good for the soul.  After a long hiatus, I’m joining in MckMama‘s weekly blog carnival just for fun.  So in case I haven’t bared enough of my true self this week already, here are the things that I most certainly did “not” do this week:

I did not hear these words from the mouth of MY children in the car on the way home from church on Sunday:

Rylee:  “I wish there were bad guys here.  Most of the bad guys are in Africa and other places.”

Mama:  “Oh not true.  There are bad guys here too that do bad things but we don’t tend to here about them or see them.” (I’ve been talking with the kids about poverty and about religious persecution “bad things”, they somehow assume those happen far away but not here, even though I’ve told them otherwise).

Kyler:  “I wish I could find a bad guy, like Darth Mader.  I would find a sharp knife and cut off his head.  Yeah I would.  I would get him with my sword.”

Mama (starting to wonder if watching Star Wars was a good idea):  “It’s not our job to get the bad guys, the police and people in the military have the job of protecting people.  What would you like for lunch today Kyler?”

Kyler: “I just wanna find some bad guys and get them.”

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By late Sunday night, I did not eat my words about bad guys as my husband and I watched drama unfold outside in our suburban neighborhood that included camo-clad SWAT team members with assault rifles walking through our backyard.  I subsequently did NOT contemplate how I would withhold the truth from my children when they woke up the next day asking why we had moved all four of them to sleep in our back bedroom (all ended well, don’t worry!).

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I do not have a punch card in my wallet for McDonald’s coffee.  That is so not ‘classy’.

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I did not finally muster the confidence when asked for the umpteenth time “Wow, four children!  Will you have any more?”  with an honest “I hope so.” instead of the typical “Maybe, we’ll see, I don’t know, not sure, hmmm”.

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I did not act like an immature and whiny wife when my husband WON tickets to a sold out NFL opening day game on his BIRTHDAY!  Nope, I always manage with grace and diplomacy.

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I have definitely not mapped out my day by coffee breaks figuring out how on earth to make it on less than 3 hours of sleep.

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I also did not stand in front of the toilet paper display last night at the grocery store for 45 minutes with a full cart, just to buy myself some time away to talk uninterrupted on my cell phone.  I did not grin sheepishly when my neighbor gave me a knowing glance and walked quietly by me as I talked.

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And I did not, really surely not (I’m telling the truth for certain here) wear a girdle to yet another church again this Sunday.  I learned my lesson last week.  The blasted undergarmet truly made it’s way to my dumpster after this post.