Mat Kearney and my marriage


Life is a constant set of blessings and blows.  The final score is undecided and when things get out of balance and the blessings seem to be blooming everywhere but in your own home, so many people today choose to walk away and try again elsewhere.

There was a time when I didn’t understand this.  I was young, married my high school sweetheart, the love of my life.  Life truly seemed dreamy except for a few newlywed scuffles that always worked themselves out quickly.

But around year 7 or so of marriage, dreamy wasn’t the word I would use to sum life up.  Babies came, jobs shifted, we both hunkered down and opted for survival mode.

Survival mode is good for surviving, but not for living.  Not for long term.  And eventually it wasn’t working to well anymore.  Things that had always seemed strange to me, made sense.  The one I loved more than any other was the one who could cause pain and I did the same for him.  Dreamy it was not.  The promise we had made “till death do us part” seemed a more than lofty goal.

We made a choice.  In a time where life pulled us all different directions, when we were just trying to keep our heads above water, we chose eachother.  It was (for me at least) the hardest thing I’ve ever done.

We just passed the 10 year mark and I am completely in awe of the restoration and repair that God has brought to our marriage.  He was more than able to work it all for good.  He just asked us to choose Him and to choose eachother.  Sounds simple I know, but it wasn’t.  Life never is.  But choose we did and it has been good (not easy, just good).

What does Mat Kearny have to do with any of it?

Common ground.

Six months ago Christopher’s boss gave him a CD that he brought home and we both fell in love with the music.  With him not working at church, his ‘work world’ is now totally separate from mine.  He leaves and spends the day driving and talking.  I spend the day here.  We attend a church where he isn’t pastoring.  The lack of overlap is good in ways but the past year has accentuated the lack of shared loves.

Of course we share parenting and a bed and weekends.   But it’s easy to feel like we have very little in common.

Enter Mat’s music.  The simple thing of us both enjoying a musician together has bound our hearts together just a little more and in the sweetest way.  I know it sounds cheesy and that’s okay.

When we found out Mat Kearney was coming to Seattle we both scrambled to buy tickets and surprise the other.  He beat me to it and had to tell me before I bought another set of tickets!   We had the best time last week and tears rolled down my cheeks as the words of this song rang through the theater…

We’re on the run I can see it in your eyes
If nothing is safe then I don’t understand
You call me your boy but I’m trying to be the man
One more day and it’s all slipping with the sand
You touch my lips and grab the back of my hand
The back of my hand
Guess we both know we’re in over our heads
We got nowhere to go and no home that’s left
The water is rising on a river turning red
It all might be ok or we might be dead
If everything we’ve got is slipping away
I meant what I said when I said until my dying day
I’m holding on to you, holding onto me
Maybe it’s all gone black but you’re all I see
You’re all I see…

And if all we’ve got is what no one can break
I know I love you
If that’s all we can take

The tears are coming down
They’re mixing with the rain
I know I love you, if that’s all we can take



This is lovely, honey. It is not easy to choose each other when so many other things compete. Now at 33 yr of being with that one person, I am loving who we are still becoming together. This time in Hawaii has amazed me with how much we love each other and how far God has brought us.


Love Mat Kearney, I’m glad he can bring some joy into your guys’ lives!


Very cool! I’m so happy you guys had such a great time. I remember how rough it has been for you both and it is amazing to see how much you’ve changed in the last year. God is so faithful.

[…] after song around here because the heart is (only a little) frozen and those words, the way that music (and a whole lot of Jesus) wove hearts back together just a few years ago does something deep, […]