An ordinary Wednesday

I’m awake before there is even a hint of light coming in.  I find my way to my chair, now decorated with black sharpie thanks to Finn last week.  I read and write and pour my heart out and ask the God I love for big things and small.  Let there be lots of laughter here today, let me make time to snuggle and please give me grace to respond to things in the right way.  And if its not too much, I pray that I could live at least 5 more decades and see all my children grow up.  I wonder if it seems selfish but I ask anyway, my heart a little shaken from a terrible nightmare.  Several people we know are facing such difficult health struggles and I don’t take ours for granted, not a bit.  We’re keenly aware of how life can change in a second.

A hearty, healthy breakfast is on the menu but before I can start cooking Rylee runs in the door and says Beth can’t stand up and is “just rolling around in the barn”.  Beth is the runt goat that we got in September, always been super small but super sweet.  She’s got a special place in my husband’s heart, I can tell.

I throw boots on, ask him to come out with me, not sure what I’ll find.  I grab a towel on the way out and almost slip right into the fence on the slick mud from the night long rain.  I find her in a slump in the straw and wrap her in a towel and carry her inside.  She doesn’t look good.

I dial my friend (who also happens to be our dairy goat 4-H leader) Sam and I know its too early to do it, but I call anyway.  I start to tell her what’s wrong and my voice wavers “I just can’t do another sad thing right now, I can’t do it.”  I make a few more calls, choose the best plan all the while kids that never got breakfast, are troopers and one holds Beth in the van and the rest get buckled up right quick.  We drive almost an hour where the breeder we got her offered to give her some medicine at no charge.  We hope for the best and drive all the way back home.

Rylee gets Beth all set with a crate full of straw in front of the fireplace and does her school work sitting next to the sweet little goat.  I marvel that we are living out my favorite James Herriot stories I heard as a girl.  It’s like a scene straight out of “Moses the Kitten“.

rylee and beth

In hustling through the garage when we get home I knock a glass jar which shatters all over the garage floor, which is covered with our puppy’s latest shreds.   So I have to actually clean a great deal just to get the glass up. The sparkling new shop vac just doesn’t seem to be working well, I take it apart to figure out why.  I laugh out loud to find that all the attachments the shop vac came with, which indeed look quite helpful, are nicely tucked inside the canister.  Lo and behold, the shop vac is so happy to be unloaded and works much better.

I throw out some apples and cheese on the counter and deem it lunch.  I get littles down for naps and fight the urge to hurry.  I give Audrey girl the 5 minutes she loves, the snuggles wrapped all around and she picks up my mama hand and carefully intertwines her tiny fingers in with mine.  She inquires about “when will we find a good solution that will help me stop sucking my thumb?”.  She snugs my head up next to hers.  I take a deep breath.

There is a sound in the kitchen, I run his direction.  Caleb bumped a stoneware mug and it shatters all over the counter and floor.  More deep breaths and I help him clean it up and we both manage to do so without any cuts.

I wonder out loud if this is the day I hoped for, in any way, at first blush its not.  We didn’t get the cool history project done I’d been so excited about.  We didn’t get the healthy breakfast I’d planned.  We didn’t get a quiet, orderly day at home.  But we got something better.  We got the chance to face something hard together.  Everyone jumped in, helped out, gave a little, to try and help save Beth.  She might still not make it.  But if she doesn’t, we’ll sure know we tried our hardest.  And in the process we’re learning something together that can’t be taught.

Life in all forms is to be treasured, fought for.

These are the sorts of truths I want to sink in to their little hearts.  This beats a history lesson or handwriting practice any day, in my book.  This is part of the beauty of home based learning, we all get to be here to share these sorts of things that come up on an ordinary Wednesday.


carol mullan

This reminds me so much of Ann Voskamp’s “onethousand gifts”. Love how you love on your family.