While he has been building with legos a whole lot lately with the dawn of cooler weather and more rain, his heart still beats for the outdoors.  Sometimes he looks out the window quite forlorn wanting nothing else than to be there.

So when he was out of sight yesterday for an hour, I assumed he was tucked in his favorite corner building ships.  Finally when I went to check in with him, he wasn’t there.  I found him out in the freshly dug up garden.

Happy as could be.  He’d dug a giant hole with his shovel and filled it with hose water.  And was picking up and squeezing the mud over and over.  And painting my house with his brown tinged hands.

My first instinct was to say “WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING?” more loudly than necessary.  Instead I turned and went right back inside.  Took a deep breath and grabbed my camera.  If I was snapping photos then I’d be forced to calm down.

‘He’s had a lot of hard days lately” I told myself ‘He needs grace‘ and ‘He doesn’t think you understand him‘.

So we talked and he told me he was making shapes with the mud.  I said maybe mud should stay off the siding of our house.  He agreed to clean it up.  He grinned proud when he informed me he was wearing shoes.

Another deep breath.  Shoes?  What shoes?  Please tell me not the new ones that were meant to last till spring?  I don’t even ask.  At this point does it really matter?  All that I want is for him to know that in this moment I’m for him, with him, on his side.  Though the past week or two may have him wondering about that, I really am.