True confessions

I bribed a crying 4 year old with a bag of M&M’s at the dentist (whispering secretly into his ear so the hygienist didn’t hear me) to convince him he should stay in his chair and let the dentist clean his teeth.

I bribed the rest of the children before we even GOT to the dentist.  With the promise of ice cream cones on the way home from the dentist.

I sent a text to my husband on his way home from work today that said something like “The dog pooped on the carpet in the family room again.  I’m not cleaning it up this time.  I am shut inside my room.  See you soon.”

Upon his coming home, I got dinner on the table and left for a ‘mental health break’ knowing he was leaving shortly for ‘guys night’ and it was going to be a long haul.

My idea of mental health break is wandering around the tacky thrift store near our house for an hour, spending a few dollars and getting a bag brimming with fun random things.

On the way home I stopped at the grocery store for a couple things.  When I asked the deli lady for one chicken strip she suggested the baked rotisserie chicken instead.  Really?  Can’t a mama just get a piece of fried goodness and not feel guilty about it?

Three times this week I pulled over the van to nurse the baby so everyone could have a break from the crying.

Noticing two giant bottles of gripe water on the counter, my husband inquired “Why two bottles when you don’t even know if it will help?”.  Fair question, it did come in a two pack but anything with the brand name “Mommy’s Bliss” written boldly on the package sounded good enough to me that I wanted two bottles anyway.

A few doses later, I informed him that the result was not in fact Mommy Bliss as indicated.  Perhaps I should try taking it myself for the bliss?

My pride was slightly, but only slightly, injured when my 6 year old son asked me why I didn’t look like the girl in the Pilates DVD workout I was doing.  Sigh.

My goal for the week was only sweets on 3 days.  FAIL.  Sweets every day.  And a quarter pound of peanut butter M&M’s in one day from a friend who I forgot to tell about said goal.  Obviously.

I opted for doing school work with kids at every opportunity this week instead of cleaning at every opportunity.  I have no clue how to do both just yet.  So my kitchen counter is invisible as a result.  But we burned through a lot of history and math 🙂

I laughed at the dinner table when a four year old boy said “Poop-lee-us” through giggles.  I know potty talk is for the potty.  But sometimes, it’s still funny and I’m not always mature enough to act like a grown up.

 

 

Comments

Joy

You are an amazing mama. You don’t know me, I found your blog through someone else’s blog. 🙂 We don’t have kids yet but you are preparing me for the day it happens. Thank you for being honest because we need to hear what it is really like in the trenches of motherhood.

Brenda in Seattle

These are so funny. I’ve done things like that before. Joey can’t stop talking about seeing you guys again. We have spring break in two weeks. All days are open. Do you want to try to get together?

Aundrea

You are so funny!! You know, my motto became (after kid #3) “whatever works”, and this is a post that sums it up perfectly. You are a wonderful momma- keep it up!!

Mina

*chuckling* Such a fun post! Thanks too for the picture of baby Phineas — such a beauty!

kimberly

I adore you.

kristin

I love this post!!! Before being a mom, I would have NEVER thought I’d bribe my children. Now I believe it is the distinct privlige of mothers to use this tool in times of great need. Clearly, you have your priorities straight. 🙂

Now that I think about it, before being a mama I’m pretty sure I would not have picked a thrift store for my free-hour-sanity-break either, but oh times do change!