As we meander through our days, we’re learning new things along the way…
Like choosing Charlotte’s Web for our movie selection as the kids snuggle in my bed and I answer phone calls and emails was probably not the best choice for such a week as this.
Although it would seem to me that Kyler is relatively unscathed by the sadness surrounding him, as he watched a movie he’s seen and enjoyed many times, his response told me his little 3 year old heart is hurting too. Rylee described it all to me later in the day:
“Mama, first he cupped his face in his hands. You know, during the part of the movie where Charlotte dies? Then he started weeping with tears down his face. And then, he was weeping loud and I had to come and get you then. He was so sad.”
Sweet little boy, I cradled him a long time and we shared some serious love. No words. Just lovin.
I also learned that when the heart is in agony, the stomach is very unhappy as well. Cheese pizza from Costco is surely the worst thing to feed a stomach when one’s heart is hurting. It may sound good. But it is a very bad idea.
In general, Costco on a busy Saturday when life seems to be crumbling is not the best place to be. A bottle of wine, one of my father-in-law’s favorites, nearly undid me and tears were so very close. I started to recall the conversation we had just weeks ago about screw top wine bottles versus corks. The recalling brought tears and I hid my head as I recognized someone I know but don’t know well enough to want to cry with in the wine aisle.
And as if I needed another reminder, God gives the sweetest little gifts in the midst of great pain. As we were perusing dinner options, I heard my sister say “SHUT UP!” but in a good way, as in I-can’t-believe-this-NO-WAY! She ran into a precious friend who was only in town from out of state for 2 short days who she wouldn’t have otherwise seen. They caught up for a bit and it was wonderful.
As my sister talked with Rylee who was struggling to understand why we were still sad, she reminded her that in a few months she would have a new baby cousin to play with. It was a beautiful reminder of how life works and that there is great joy in our life as we anticipate the arrival of a new member of the Jorgenson family.
Rylee, our question asker, keeps asking questions. They are sweet and tender and repetitive and hard to answer.
But she needs to ask them and we keep answering.
Even though we don’t have the answers.