Skinny jeans for the not-quite-skinny

The full circle of fashion is sometimes quite amusing.

It was 15 years ago that skinny (then called ‘tapered’) jeans were cool.  It was convenient that I was skinny then so they worked out okay for me.

Four babies and a fair bit of baby weight later…I should have figured that skinny jeans probably are not in the cards for me.

However, a few months ago after my husband surprised me with Uggs one Saturday afternoon, I thought I ought to give them a try.  The boots were so cute but under jeans you couldn’t see their flair.    I came home with a pair that I thought looked as decent as any and wore them for the past few months.

I’m not sure why but something possessed me to ask my sweet husband a few days ago this simple question…

Do these jeans look good on me?”

Now, honestly I wanted a truthful answer.  It may seem loaded but from my end it wasn’t.

But the poor guy, I could see him take a deep breath in and he carefully responded in a calm and cool voice –

“Why do you ask me these questions?  What am I supposed to say?”

I see panic in his face but I myself am truly not worked up, just trying to sort through the issue of these jeans that has been bothering me.  Really, should they be shelved or shouldn’t they?  So I prod a bit further…

“Do you think I look good in these jeans is what I’m asking?  Do you like them on me?”

He pauses and ponders and I feel now a little bit guilty for causing such a to-do about a pair of jeans but clearly, there is more to the issue here than jeans-at least that is I’m sure what he’s thinking at this point.  This is his oh-so-diplomatic response to the woman he loves –

“I like you.  And you like those jeans.”

So there was my answer.  I smiled at him and put the jeans away.

It’s taken 10 years but we can finally have a conversation about my clothing and how it looks and not suffer from a day or two long cold-shoulder or high blood pressure or any other significant trauma.

I remind myself that I know well and good how much he loves me and that it doesn’t hinge on what jeans I wear.  I don’t give myself permission to be irrational and make a big fuss about his answer.

Why we (most) women tend to make it so difficult and ask such ‘hard’ questions of the ones we love, I’ll never know.  But for me at least, actually wanting an honest opinion instead of wanting to have the truth stretched into something that made me feel better is one of  my secrets to increased marital bliss.

Comments

Julie

Chris’ answer is so sweet! LOL! Loved that story! I admittedly have no sense of what looks good on me, or what is “in.” I have to rely on Ryan to clothes shop with me, and be brutally honest with me about how I look. I love how we compliment each others strengths and weakness’ that way! We are praying for you guys during this time. Molly and Luke pray for your kids every night…they just feel so bad for them. May you feel God’s arms around you during this time.

Steph

LOVE this post and LOVE you. Good answer, Christopher! Such sweetness.

Mina

I say we forego jeans and wear comfy pjs all day long! 🙂

Kristin

Your husband is kind and diplomatic. I can’t tell you how many times I have put that panicked look on my husband’s face. It usually comes with the pressure for him to say just the right thing so I feel OK about myself. Lets see, my 6th anniversary was yesterday, hope it only takes 4 more years (or do I hope for less?!) for me to let things go.