There’s nothing quite like waking up at 1:00 in the morning to a silent, smiling face staring at you from about 4 inches away. It doesn’t freak me out any more but it sure used to. Kyler since moving into his big boy bed does this every now and then. Knowing Audrey could be up any time to eat and having only get to bed a bit ago myself, I nudged my husband to put Kyler back in bed. That didn’t work, I spoke as loudly as I could without waking up Audrey. That didn’t work either, I poked and prodded and loud whispered some more while Kyler stood by waiting for someone to usher him back to bed.
I gave up, took the chubby little hand that was waiting for me and walked with him to his room. Oh the rotten stench that greeted my sleepy nose. I tried to get past it assuming it was a wet bed from the top bunk boy perhaps, got Kyler tucked in, but I could not get over the smell. Finally I pulled Kyler back out of bed and checked his diaper. Indeed this was the culprit. I can’t really explain how difficult it was to change a two year old poopy toddler diaper in the dark in the middle of the night with a super sore wrist from tendonitis. I don’t even want to know how long it took. It took long enough for me to realize that I think it’s been a couple days since I brushed my teeth and they felt slimy and then I realized why I hadn’t brushed my teeth and then I started thinking about life and all the unknowns and then my brain was ticking and it took a long while to get back to sleep.
Just when I think we are back to being able to simulate some kind of normalness (yesterday was the very first day in 15 days that I didn’t cry at least once or five times), our kids remind me that they too wonder about our future. Caleb yesterday prayed at lunch (when he ONLY prays for food)-“God please help us to not have to sell our house and move away.”
Rylee too, informed me at nap time – “I want Daddy to find a job here so that we don’t have to move so that Dee Dee and Buzz can still live close to us because they can’t move with us because they already sold their cat kennel at their garage sale and they have nothing to bring the cats with them.” I love the reasoning of a 5 year old….that five year old is standing here chattering away at my too-tired-haven’t-had-coffee-yet self so I should wrap this up.
So thankful that He is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. Even more thankful that He sees the big picture of our life and knows exactly where we’re going even when we don’t.